Things I Don't Give a Rat's Butt About

I am super glad the world is such a diverse place with such diverse people in it. But on a day like today when I feel like I've been stretched out like pantyhose a size too small, I come to realize there are things in this world I just am not interested in.

Football, for instance. The rest of my bunch is happily tuned into the Cotton Bowl, but I have my headphones plugged in and am writing blog posts and working on my ill-considered WIP (yep, Lost fanfiction - but I swear I'm doing the mental work on my other stuff at the same time). Monday (I think) is the National Championship and everything will stop here in Alabama as the Tide plays LSU. I love my people and will support them with fried catfish as they watch, but I swear I don't give a rat's butt about the game.

I have also found that I do not give a rat's butt about most of the stories that pass for news nowadays. I worked for a newspaper for a while and discovered that very little real news happens. Truly most of what's reported is gossip. Real news of important events that will shape the economic and social future of the world isn't nearly as juicy as who's got a baby bump or who's been arrested for drunk driving, so these stories just don't get as much airplay. Consequently, coverage of an important trade summit will take a back seat to some story about Celebrity X trading in her old mansion for a new mansion. I just don't give a rat's butt where Lady Gaga lives (as long as she doesn't move in next door).

Finally, I am having trouble caring about dinner. What's for dinner? is the clarion call of the nation starting about 5:30, but I am just not in the mood to cook these days. Sometimes I get all enthused about trying a new dish, but right now if it doesn't try to eat me, I am happy. Tonight's football meal was purchased at the local fish and steak house because I don't give a rat's butt about cooking dinner. If Lady Gaga is coming over for a meet-the-neighbors party, she can have fried catfish from the Front Porch Restaurant along with the rest of us.

What I do care about is that my folks are all happily watching a football game with their bellies full of fried catfish (that I didn't have to cook) and that none of them are pregnant or driving drunk or Lady Gaga. That's worth a whole bunch of rat's butts.